SHARE Christmas Service and Serenity

The song that you are listening too is one that every time Serenity hears she says "oh, mama this is your song." So one day I caught the name and listened to it. It is a very beautiful song. I am blessed to have Serenity! She is so incredible! A little side note is her art is being featured at school in the gallery. It is so cool!

Tonight was the Share Christmas Service and it was very nice. I took a couple of pics but, it is not really a picture taking event. Dinner was donated by Panera Bread. They started off the night with everyone sharing a little of their story. I had no desire to go up but, my precious Serenity really wanted me to so up I went with her by my side. I could just kick myself for not asking her if she had anything to say. UUGGH! Then we all lit candles and listened to a Christmas song. After that we all hung our ornaments on the tree. Then named off all of our babies who are wanted, loved and missed. It was a very nice service and it meant a lot that Serenity was with me. Thanks for such a special evening SHARE girls. The event was very hard but, nice. Please pray for all of them.

Then we came home to a card from a secret friend. Just what I needed whoever you are-perfect timing!! The card is addressed from Colorado Springs but, no return to sender address or name in the card. Tonight was just a card to say this person was thinking of us and gave us a few certificates to Baskin Robbins. THANK YOU! This is priceless to my heart and actually distracted me from a very sad night with Aaron out of town (not a good combo)!

The holidays are getting harder and I am praying that I can make it through them. I am doing all I can so please, be patient with me. We should be planning a baby's 1st Christmas but, I am still trying to design a marker for the cemetery. Designing a marker for my son is not what I would recommend around the holidays but, I really want it in by Christmas! I have taken too long but, I have done what I could! I will be sending proofs soon so be ready!

I have a swirling head, heart and soul of emotions and at times it is hard to even breathe. Sometimes I do good but, other times I feel like I am just beginning my journey. A hard moment this week is when Serenity tells a story (she remembers EVERYTHING)..."Remember when we were at Nana Vicki and Papa Alan's house and we were all singing Happy Birthday." I said "yes." "Serenity says well they all call you Treasure but, I call you mama." I say, "Yes, because to them I am Treasure and to you I am your mommy. Only you and baby brother am I mommy." She thinks a second and says, "yes, you are." "Oh, mommy I miss baby brother and wish I had someone to play with." Aaron and I's hearts break, we were so close. We did all we could! Even as I read this I want to delete the last sentence. But, I will not tonight! If I had known his life was in danger, I WOULD of gone to the hospital.

One last thing, tomorrow is the meeting with an artist for the scuplture for the Healing Garden at the Ronald McDonald house. I am so excited and will be posting pics of the garden. It looks incredible! What an honor to have a garden being dedicated in Sterling's memory. I LOVE RMH!