"I asked GOD how much time do I have to live? And he said.....long enough to make a difference." ~~~"To the world you might be just one person. But to one person, you might be the world."
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Serenity Reading....
Serenity read her 1st sight word book on Sunday the 21st....can you believe it?
Our New Normal........
During the last 5 months I have been terrified what has been referred to as the "new normal". I knew that I was not perfect and that I have a lot of things I need to work on. But, overall I did not feel like I was a bad person. I also felt like my life was about to become "perfect." Then we lost Sterling Michael, the other half of my heart.
But, with meeting with Maria, people from Church, my family and friends. I have come to slowly accept the "new normal" and realize that can be filled with moments of laughter and hope. I pray for the day when it is more than moments.
Maria has been teaching me so much about myself like to stand up for myself when my feelings are hurt. Also, to learn to say "no" to somethings I am asked to do. This has been challenging but, I am working on it.
I met with Stu, he led our funeral service for Sterling. He is a pastor at our FABULOUS church but, more importantly he is a great guy who loves GOD, his family and others. He has continued to be there for Aaron and I and is planning the OCT. 15th event with me. This is fast approaching and is needing a lot of attention and support. Stu's wife is pregnant with a precious baby boy and he has still been there even though I am sure it has been hard. I pray for their family. I thank him for caring our "Team Davis."
My family has continued to be so great on SO many things. I just really want to thank all of you. I know during our journey I have not been thankful. But, I am thankful and feel very loved and fortunate to have all of my family. Most of you know that Aaron and I have a HUGE family. Thank you for dropping everything to be by our sides when Sterling went to Heaven. This has meant more to us than you all can know or imagine.
We have been working so hard on the Healing Garden at the Ronald McDonald house. The garden is in Sterling's memory & I am sooo proud of. I have great people that I work on it (Chris, Beth, Susan...etc) with and Aaron has been working on it every weekend. I am so proud of him for taking the project on. We have all of the sprinkler work done, 90% of the planting, edging in, a massive custom waterfall (donated by Paradise Ponds in Monument), and a concrete heart custom designed by Lyn (Aaron's mom) and Allan in the middle of the garden. The concrete heart is more than what I could of hoped for and you know I have high expectations. There is still a ton of work to do but, it is really coming together now and I am honored to have this garden to honor Serenity and remember Sterling. We have had so many incredible volunteers and they have worked so hard. We even had our best friends Louie and Heather make a BIG donation to the garden in Sterling's memory and bring the blue balloons on Aaron's birthday which reminds me of Sterling.
I have a lot to be thankful for!
I may have lost a few "friends" but, I know that they are just not sure of what to say. The best advice I can give is to not say anything but, just be there. I know that there are no magic words....I've tried them all. But, just to call and say hi and I am thinking of you. A handful of friends have been so supportive and I CANNOT imagine them not being in my life.
You absolutely find out who your friends are......
The cards I received helped me so much for the first 5 weeks. I never knew how much I loved mail!
One of my friends who was also one of my last clients before Sterling went to Heaven took me aside the other day to say when it is my time for heaven, don't walk.....run to Sterling.
You had better believe it, no matter how I have to get there I could beat any Olympic record that day.
My office has been so supportive and caring. I have really needed to rebuild my confidence for work. You have to be on your A game for real estate, which I am still struggling with. But, my managing broker and even the owner of my company has really reached out so that I know they are there. They have both gone through the loss of having a child go to Heaven.
I have also gained some incredible "sisters" who know exactly what I feel like now. Most of them are from my SHARE group which if you are not aware of please Google this non-profit. They are so helpful in healing. Most people would think going over it month after month would be sad. But, it is not. We get issues, concerns and feelings out that we are free to express without judgment! We are also not allowed to say sorry for crying! If anyone would like to come with me it is also open to husbands, friends and grandparents. When you hear other stories about life, unfortunately, you always are made aware that someone ALWAYS has it worse than you do. This is crazy to think of but, it also gives a chance to be thankful and hopeful for what you DO have. Now, I am not always following my own ideas or advice but, I am really working on it.
My last three thank you's go to Aaron, Serenity and Sterling. I am blessed to have you all apart of me. Aaron has put up with so much. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm on the floor. Thank goodness we have shielded Serenity from all of this. I know that I have been hard to live with...sometimes I do not even want to be around myself. But, he continues to be a great dad and supportive of my feelings!
Serenity and Sterling are my heart. Serenity still continues to tell stories of her baby brother and I love them. She is doing so good in school and we are so blessed that everyone is so supportive of us. She is a smart, beautiful, funny, loving and caring girl......that we are blessed to have in our lives. Sterling Michael has opened my eyes to the world and has made me so aware of things that I was not aware of. Somethings I want you all to know about:
SADS is an acronym for "Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome" a clinical term for "stillbirth". Similar sounding to "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome" SADS claims over 10 times as many babies' every year as does SIDS.
An estimated 26,000 SADS deaths occur annually in the U. S., many of them at or near full term. Stated another way, 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby. Despite advances in so many areas of obstetrics, the incidence of stillbirths in many states has been rising in over the past decade.
Stillbirths are as random as raindrops. 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby.
My personal prayer request~Please pray for my anxiety.
Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me!
But, with meeting with Maria, people from Church, my family and friends. I have come to slowly accept the "new normal" and realize that can be filled with moments of laughter and hope. I pray for the day when it is more than moments.
Maria has been teaching me so much about myself like to stand up for myself when my feelings are hurt. Also, to learn to say "no" to somethings I am asked to do. This has been challenging but, I am working on it.
I met with Stu, he led our funeral service for Sterling. He is a pastor at our FABULOUS church but, more importantly he is a great guy who loves GOD, his family and others. He has continued to be there for Aaron and I and is planning the OCT. 15th event with me. This is fast approaching and is needing a lot of attention and support. Stu's wife is pregnant with a precious baby boy and he has still been there even though I am sure it has been hard. I pray for their family. I thank him for caring our "Team Davis."
My family has continued to be so great on SO many things. I just really want to thank all of you. I know during our journey I have not been thankful. But, I am thankful and feel very loved and fortunate to have all of my family. Most of you know that Aaron and I have a HUGE family. Thank you for dropping everything to be by our sides when Sterling went to Heaven. This has meant more to us than you all can know or imagine.
We have been working so hard on the Healing Garden at the Ronald McDonald house. The garden is in Sterling's memory & I am sooo proud of. I have great people that I work on it (Chris, Beth, Susan...etc) with and Aaron has been working on it every weekend. I am so proud of him for taking the project on. We have all of the sprinkler work done, 90% of the planting, edging in, a massive custom waterfall (donated by Paradise Ponds in Monument), and a concrete heart custom designed by Lyn (Aaron's mom) and Allan in the middle of the garden. The concrete heart is more than what I could of hoped for and you know I have high expectations. There is still a ton of work to do but, it is really coming together now and I am honored to have this garden to honor Serenity and remember Sterling. We have had so many incredible volunteers and they have worked so hard. We even had our best friends Louie and Heather make a BIG donation to the garden in Sterling's memory and bring the blue balloons on Aaron's birthday which reminds me of Sterling.
I have a lot to be thankful for!
I may have lost a few "friends" but, I know that they are just not sure of what to say. The best advice I can give is to not say anything but, just be there. I know that there are no magic words....I've tried them all. But, just to call and say hi and I am thinking of you. A handful of friends have been so supportive and I CANNOT imagine them not being in my life.
You absolutely find out who your friends are......
The cards I received helped me so much for the first 5 weeks. I never knew how much I loved mail!
One of my friends who was also one of my last clients before Sterling went to Heaven took me aside the other day to say when it is my time for heaven, don't walk.....run to Sterling.
You had better believe it, no matter how I have to get there I could beat any Olympic record that day.
My office has been so supportive and caring. I have really needed to rebuild my confidence for work. You have to be on your A game for real estate, which I am still struggling with. But, my managing broker and even the owner of my company has really reached out so that I know they are there. They have both gone through the loss of having a child go to Heaven.
I have also gained some incredible "sisters" who know exactly what I feel like now. Most of them are from my SHARE group which if you are not aware of please Google this non-profit. They are so helpful in healing. Most people would think going over it month after month would be sad. But, it is not. We get issues, concerns and feelings out that we are free to express without judgment! We are also not allowed to say sorry for crying! If anyone would like to come with me it is also open to husbands, friends and grandparents. When you hear other stories about life, unfortunately, you always are made aware that someone ALWAYS has it worse than you do. This is crazy to think of but, it also gives a chance to be thankful and hopeful for what you DO have. Now, I am not always following my own ideas or advice but, I am really working on it.
My last three thank you's go to Aaron, Serenity and Sterling. I am blessed to have you all apart of me. Aaron has put up with so much. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm on the floor. Thank goodness we have shielded Serenity from all of this. I know that I have been hard to live with...sometimes I do not even want to be around myself. But, he continues to be a great dad and supportive of my feelings!
Serenity and Sterling are my heart. Serenity still continues to tell stories of her baby brother and I love them. She is doing so good in school and we are so blessed that everyone is so supportive of us. She is a smart, beautiful, funny, loving and caring girl......that we are blessed to have in our lives. Sterling Michael has opened my eyes to the world and has made me so aware of things that I was not aware of. Somethings I want you all to know about:
SADS is an acronym for "Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome" a clinical term for "stillbirth". Similar sounding to "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome" SADS claims over 10 times as many babies' every year as does SIDS.
An estimated 26,000 SADS deaths occur annually in the U. S., many of them at or near full term. Stated another way, 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby. Despite advances in so many areas of obstetrics, the incidence of stillbirths in many states has been rising in over the past decade.
Stillbirths are as random as raindrops. 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby.
My personal prayer request~Please pray for my anxiety.
Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me!
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