Meeting with Brad and Kasey Ewing

We had our SHARE meeting last night with Brad and Kasey Ewing as the guest speakers(Aaron went with me and it was such a nice treat to have his continued support).

They are amazing worship leaders at a local church. They lost their 23 mo. son by Brad accidentally backing into him at their home. This happened about 8 years ago.
It is remarkable to see them as they have weathered this journey and are making it another day and honoring their son's memory (Jacob).

They were told the divorce rate is 98%+ for people who have lost children. They gave us tips to keep our marriage strong and alive. It is easy for it to die along with your broken heart. Please continue to pray for us. We are both working so hard!

They also talked about how they do not have guilt. Guilt is straight from the enemy. This is easier said than truly believed but, it is a process. He reminded us.....if you could give anything to make things different would you? Of course, then it was an accident. We all know that we would give anything, and I know you all would as well. We all lost that day.

They also talked about not looking to far into the future and truly in the early years to just continue to take life one day at a time. Do your best to make each day the best you can. That is great advice for me. If I think too far in advance it gets to overwhelming. It is amazing how the things that I used to take for granted are such huge deals now. When I can accomplish them or see my family accomplish them I am so proud.

Grief is so unpredictable....it is a journey and a process.

poem...Don't think I do not grieve

Don't think I do not feel:
because you see no tears.
A river rages deep inside
of grief, and loss, and fears.

Just because I do not cry now,
don't think my heart's not broken.
I keep inside the misery
of words not to be spoken.

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke,
so you won't see the pain;
or notice how my hands will shake,
or how I've gone insane.

Each time i think of him,
my heart is ripped asunder.
The loss I feel is mine alone.
you will not see my thunder.

by Brenda Penepent